ACTFL Rejected Me.

Okay, okay. I know that the title of this post sounds extremely heart wrenching and dramatic. I promise, I don't REALLY feel that way. 

I wanted to write today about this idea of "failure" as it relates to taking risks and chasing goals.

For most of my life I can honestly say that I was deathly afraid of not being "good enough," being told "no," or "failing."  I've intentionally included all of those phrases in quotation marks because after years of personal development (thanks Rachel Hollis & Brené Brown) I have been able to re-frame what "failing" and "no" mean and how I handle it when it happens.

Here are a few things to consider:

1) Whose opinion are you trusting? Why? 

If I were to trust ONLY the opinion of the ACTFL reviewers (a blind process while rating proposals on a rubric), I might believe that I am not worthy or talented or that I shouldn't be sharing my ideas.  That I'm not good enough to share.  That people don't want to hear from me.  Or that the topic I wanted to speak on didn't matter.  That I should just give up.  This is absolutely not true! Might I need to improve or hone in my idea? For sure... but that doesn't mean I should give up on it.  Having people in your life that you can trust their opinions AND you know that they want the best for you is SO important.  Also, professionally speaking, having a few good colleagues (thanks Camile and Jodi!) that you trust to look at your work from pedagogical perspective will greatly benefit how you move forward. Sometimes conferences just don't have enough room and they have to prioritize their acceptances. Try not to take it personally and use it as fuel to drive you forward. 

2) What if this "failure" or "no" is happening FOR you instead of happening TO you? What lessons can be learned?

In my opinion, you only fail when you stop trying. On every journey, you will hit roadblocks, or come to forks in the road where you will make the wrong choice.  It happens.  We need to normalize sharing those experiences, which is why I wanted to write this post.  What I've learned from chasing some big goals and dreams in the last year and a half is that you have to put your blinders on, stop comparing your work to other people's work, and DO THE WORK.  No one ever got to where they are by hoping or wishing.  They got there because they dug deep, put in the time and effort, and most importantly, they didn't give up when someone said "no" or they had "failed" at something.  All of these experiences are happening FOR your good, if you can see them that way.  There are always lessons to be learned and progress to be made, even if it means moving forward only one inch every day.

3) What can you control to continue making progress towards your goal? Focus on the work. Become so good that they cannot ignore you.

I can't control the fact that ACTFL declined to include my session this year.  I can control my time, effort, and focus.  I can choose to be resilient and move forward in spite of the rejection.  I can choose where I put my identity and worth.  For me, I know my identity and worth come from who God created me to be.  It does not come from how many friends I have on social media or which conferences accept or deny my presentations.  Keeping your realm of control in mind, you can move forward and make real progress.  If quarantine and COVID-19 have taught me anything, it's that we don't really have control of anything anyway.  With each new day comes new challenges.  We cannot control which challenges we will have to face, but we can control our actions and attitude when facing them.  At the end of the day, if you put your head down, do the work, take care of yourself, and remain positive as much as possible, you can be proud of who you are and what you've done, and that means more than any presentation acceptance.

I believe in you. I believe in me. Let's do this.